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little bent pages: "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz

📕Rating: 2/5

📗Readability: Easy read, but repetitive

📘Recommend: Depends


There’s no denying that The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz contains a few nuggets of wisdom. I think this book would be great for someone starting on their self-healing/personal development journey. But I was personally disappointed by it, mainly because it felt like I was reading the same thing over and over and over again. It’s already such a small book at 160 pages, and yet I feel like it could’ve been much, much less.

I read this for a family book club and we were all mostly in agreement about the repetitiveness. My boyfriend and I were especially in agreement (haha no pun in tended) around the 2nd agreement which was to not take anything personally. There seemed to be that all-too-common air of spiritual gaslighting (“if you’re hurt or offended by what I say then that’s on you”). The second agreement says that nothing others do is because of you, but therein lies another issue of accountability. Sometimes you ARE being rude; sometimes you ARE being offensive. But this agreement makes it seem like if someone calls you out on it, you’re absolved from any responsibility because their reaction is a reflection of them, not you (which seems to directly clash with the first agreement).

Anyway, as you can tell, this book is not high up on my recommendations list lol — but as always I recommend reading this for yourself! There were definitely some beautiful nuggets of wisdom that I dog-eared and my boyfriend highlighted. I just think we didn’t need a whole book on it…

Here’s all you need to know from the book (taken from the cover itself):

  1. Be impeccable with your word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direct of truth and love.

  2. Don’t take anything personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be a victim of needless suffering.

  3. Don’t make assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

  4. Always do your best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse, and regret.


Hi there, my name is Marisa! I'm a life coach + trauma survivor + avid book reader! Want to keep up with what I'm reading or want to be notified when the next little book talk comes out? Follow me on Instagram or sign up for my email list!

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