little bent, not broken
Perfectionism & Reparenting Recovery
Hello there! I'm Marisa!
aka little bent, not broken
I'm the founder of @littlebent_notbroken and creator of this course. I've consolidated what I've learned during my decade-long healing journey to fuel my mission of helping at least one person feel seen, heard, and less alone. I'm here to remind you that authenticity is better than perfection! YOU ARE BETTER THAN PERFECT.
Are you ready to embark on a transformative journey towards embracing your authentic self and reconnecting with your inner child?
Embrace Imperfection, Embrace You:
Discover the Compassionate Witness Within
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Welcome to Better Than Perfect, where we prioritize compassion over perfection and healing over shame!
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Do you strive to treat yourself with the same kindness and care you offer your friends and loved ones because it's easier to give it than receive it?
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Have past experiences or traumas made it difficult to set boundaries, prioritize your own needs, or advocate for yourself because you're used to your survival being linked to someone else's happiness?
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Are you looking to break free from the cycle of harsh self-judgment because you're ready to foster a more positive and supportive inner dialogue?
If you answered yes to any of these questions then Better Than Perfect was made with you in mind!
Oftentimes, at the root of perfectionism and people pleasing is shame
Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging (Brené Brown). Shame is different than guilt; guilt says “I did a bad thing” whereas shame says “I am the bad thing” (we’ll get more into that in the course).
In her book The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown talks about an idea called Shame Resilience, which is "the ability to recognize shame, to move through it constructively while maintaining worthiness and authenticity, and to ultimately develop more courage, compassion, and connection as a result of our experience."
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How do we develop resilience to such deep-cutting shame?
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Recognizing when it comes up
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Identifying what activates it
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Talking about it by saying it
My name is Marisa and as a trauma survivor, recovering perfectionist and people pleaser, I'm all too familiar with shame.
I grew up feeling ashamed and being shamed.
I grew up with a caregiver who told me on multiple occasions that they wished I had never been born, that I wasn’t good enough and I would never be good enough. I always felt like I had to apologize for my existence, and then in turn, I felt like I had to hustle to prove and justify my existence.
Hearing such things on repeat from such a young age planted a deeply rooted belief that there was something wrong with me and I needed to DO whatever I could to earn the love, acceptance, and belonging that is woven into our biological nature, especially in children. That belief – that shame – told me that there must be something wrong with me if my own caregivers couldn’t give me the unconditional love I kept hearing about at school and church. I felt so alone, so isolated, so ashamed of myself.
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Shame is an intensely painful experience – one that I know is not just unique to me, because chances are, if you’re reading this, you might have experienced a whole lot of shame too.
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“Shame loses power when it is spoken.”
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A big motivating factor for the work I do is to help people feel seen, heard, and less alone. And I’ve found that even just acknowledging or validating someone’s experience – by pointing a finger at my own shame that kept me stuck – can set them on a completely different trajectory and set the foundation for healing and compassion to take root.
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While so much of the work in this course is going to be moving toward and forward with compassion, part of that work is also about addressing and releasing shame, without shaming ourselves for having shame!
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Your first practice in self-compassion: identify any shame that might come up around the things you had to do to survive (maybe this looks like perfectionism, people pleasing, fawning, feigning, freezing, fighting) and decide if you're ready to release it.
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"Self-compassion involves acting the same way towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. Instead of just ignoring your pain with a “stiff upper lip” mentality, you stop to tell yourself “this is really difficult right now,” how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment?
Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect?"
-Dr. Kristen Neff, https://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/
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These quotes by Brené Brown and Kristen Neff create the nucleus for this course, for the work I do, and for the support and empowerment I hope to pass onto you.
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You are not alone, and you are worthy.
Key focuses include...
Reconnecting with Your Authentic Self
Embrace imperfection as a beautiful part of your journey & discover the power of vulnerability and authenticity in your relationships.
Redirecting from the Inner Critic to Self-Compassion
Release the weight of self-judgment & cultivate a loving inner dialogue that supports your unique journey.
Rewriting Old Narratives and Societal Expectations
Learn to say yes to yourself and prioritize your well-being through effective boundary-setting strategies.
Reparenting Your Inner Child
Heal past wounds with compassion and nurture and support the inner child within you by becoming the wise, compassionate adult you needed when you were younger
“I have to admit, it was emotionally challenging for me at times but I feel very lucky to have been able to participate. The way it's structured, at our own pace, gives us room to really think, breathe and take breaks as needed. I like the way you are so natural and authentic in the videos and your smile and laughs are contagious. It was a real growing experience for me and I'm sincerely grateful you helped me become more compassionate with myself and closer to my inner child. Lots of love...”
- Marie H.
Is this course for you?
If you can relate to the things above...
I want you to know that there is nothing wrong or shameful with whatever you had to do to survive.
Now, you get to find the aspects and strengths of these things that you want to carry forward with you -- the things that serve you -- and what you're ready to let go.
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And the work we do in this course can help support you in identifying where you are, where you want to be, and sustainable ways to get you there.
Who is this course for?
This course is for anyone on a healing journey looking to reconnect with their authentic self, rediscover their inherent worth, and reparent their inner child to help them move through life with more self-love and compassion so that they can prioritize their needs, cultivate a more supportive and empowering inner dialogue, and create a more balanced and sustainable lifestyle.
What's the return policy?
All sales are final and refunds will not be given due to the digital nature of the course.
How much is this course?
One-time payment of $97.00.
How quickly will I need to go through each module?
The beauty of this course is that you get to go AT YOUR OWN PACE! No deadlines or pressure.
Any additional questions? Feel free to email Marisa at littlebent.notbroken@gmail.com -- I believe in full transparency so that when you sign up to work with me, you feel prepared, confident, and empowered!
About Marisa
trauma informed perfectionism recovery & reparenting coach
@littlebent_notbroken
Marisa (she/her) is a mental health advocate & complex trauma survivor turned trauma-informed life coach with a mission to help fellow childhood abuse survivors embrace authenticity and cultivating self-compassion. She shares her self-healing, reparenting, and perfectionism recovery journey through her instagram, @littlebent_notbroken, with the sole purpose of helping at least one person feel seen & heard and less alone. As a trauma-informed life coach, she helps you reconnect to your inner wisdom and cheer you on as you move forward on your self-healing journey! She believes each & every person is whole and resourceful and has all the power and capability to reclaim their inherent worth NOW! She hopes to help you reclaim this birthright by remaining curious, asking powerful questions, and holding safe, nonjudgmental space for your transformative process. Marisa is a libra sun, enneagram 1w9, and doting pet mom. Her favorite TV shows include New Girl, The Good Place, ATLA, and Schitt's Creek. Learn more at www.littlebent-notbroken.com/about-me
